The quote says it better

We gather strength from sadness and from pain.  Each time we die we learn to live again.

In the middle

I just came from all over the networld.  There’s a blog post I happened to read before deciding to post one myself.  The blogger says Christmas is the saddest of all holidays and she gave several reasons why she thinks so.  Reading the comments to the post was cute because her readers gave equally valid reasons why she needs to try to reconsider her thoughts.

I like Christmas.  No, scrap that.  I love Christmas!  I’ve been saying it’s my most favorite time of the year.  But somehow, while reading the post, I couldn’t help but think that Christmas could really be the saddest for many.  My counseling class last year said the rate of suicide reaches its highest during Christmas season.  Maybe because while some enjoy the warmth of family and/or loved ones, the others are in the coldness of all by their lonesome selves.  Food may be sumptuous for many, served with laughter and fun, but for some, the day might just pass by with nothing more than soup or bread.  Especially for those who are left with nothing, not even a roof over their head, after the recent calamities.  While there may be presents wrapped in colorful papers all around, many may not really receive what their hearts truly desire.  The pictures are simply of great conrast.

Reaching my third paragraph now, here’s what I am thinking: though Christmas still tops my list of most favorite times of the year, I couldn’t deny the fact that yes, it brings along with it melancholy and a hint (or a ton) of sadness.  It could be a good (or bad) mix. One concrete example of the mix: when I fetched my sister from Rockwell last night and saw the lines of Christmas-lighted trees along Rockwell Drive, I simultaneously felt the need to squeal in delight and sob in sadness.  Can’t explain the ‘why’ right now but that where I am at this moment–middle of delight and sadness.

And so in light of my God’s birthday come Christmas, I will definitely squeal in delight and celebrate.  As for the unprocessed feeling of melancholy/sadness, I’ll just let it be.  Since I don’t really know  what to do with it.  According to friends, okay lang naman maging malungkot.

As it is, I am trying to live my life one day at a time.

Hirap. Di pwedeng diretso…

I was so happy this weekend.  I was in Tagaytay attending an activity for our church’s young professionals and there, I got to learn new things, established friendships with people, and build memories that will always bring smile to me whenever I’ll remember them.  I was so happy I thought I’d sleep smiling.

Apparently, I wouldn’t.  Something dampen my spirit.  No matter what I do to brush it off, it pushes its way to my mind.  It stings, it bites.  I guess one of this days, when I’ve found the courage to face it, I’ll go through it and swallow its bitterness and then move on.

But as of now, I have this to say: Minsan, hindi din talaga pwedeng diretso ang saya. Somewhere along the way, merong low point.  Hirap din.