Hungry

My prayer is that preachers of the Word would share John Piper’s mindset:

People ought to come to corporate worship services to get.  They ought to come starved for God.  They ought to come saying, “As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God (Psalms 42:1).  God is profoundly honored when people know that they will die of hunger and thirst unless they have God.  And it is my job as a preacher to spread a banquet for them. I must show them from Scripture what they are really starving for–God–and then feed them well until they say, “Ahhh.”  That is worship.

Buti na lang…

Oh Lord, Your tenderness melting all my bitterness
Oh Lord, I receive Your love
Oh Lord, Your loveliness changing all my ugliness
Oh Lord, I receive Your love
Oh Lord, I receive Your love

The Night I Almost Decided I’m Not Going to Drive Anymore

It was the first time I ever felt that way behind the driving wheel.  I guess the feeling had been building up for days when several almost-mishaps and one minor accident slowly took away every confidence I have for driving.

When I almost collided with a barricade with no warning lights (at all!) along Macapagal Avenue, just one night after a pick up truck hit my car bumper, I finally had the tension out of my system.  Locking myself in my room with the tv on, I told God I don’t want to drive anymore.  Perhaps, I am not that careful of a driver or maybe I don’t really have the quick reflexes required of a Metro Manila, EDSA-cruising driver.  The image of that pick up truck denting my bumper kept coming back and though I was able to talk with the driver and somehow scolded him for his carelessness, I thought I just didn’t want to have the same kind of experience ever again.  The trauma paralyzes me, especially when traffic is heavy and slow-moving, drivers of big and small vehicles mischievously trying to get their way the way they want it.  I could still feel my hands feeling cold and sweaty every time traffic jams up.  Quick and smart decisions have to be made every time one is on the road and that night, I felt that I don’t want to do that anymore.  Fear and trauma were eating me up.

But the sensible part of me knows that I have to overcome the fear.  Not by my own  might nor by my own power, but by the enabling Spirit of God.  After crying to God and telling Him of all these thoughts filled with fear and hesitation, I texted several friends and requested them to help me pray about it.  Kung ako lang talaga, ayoko na. But my mind’s telling me I shouldn’t give up without putting a fight. I guess it’s still part of my faith being put at work.

So several friends replied and promised that they will cover me in prayers.  The following morning, though not admitting to myself, I was hesitant to sit behind the wheel again.  But I had to.  After texting one prayer partner that I  was about to drive and praying silently to God, I drove off.

Reaching Quezon City without much of a fuss and in one whole piece drew a sigh of relief from me.  That was despite the wobbly self-confidence and moments of almost-paralysis every time I was caught in heavy traffic.

Wobbly and hesitant is how I can describe my driving for the past days.  But I am thankful that the confidence is coming back little by little.  I am certain that it’s the result of prayers barraging the heavens for me.

The driving ordeal isn’t over yet.  But just in any aspect of life, kelangan lang talaga lumaban.  I don’t want fear to grip me forever and forfeit the joys this certain privilege can afford me.  I’m thankful too that that night I forgo of that decision not to drive anymore.

I just have to always, always remember that the Great Driver of Life (Tsuper ng buhay) is in control after all.